Have you ever asked yourself what it would look like if everything were exactly “right” for one year?Which project would be finished? What job would you have? What promotion would you have? Who is in your life?What would have to change so you can breathe a sigh of relief and feel happy?If you are like me, you are a busy person. You have a ton of balls in the air and maybe life has become more about making sure a ball doesn’t drop, than enjoying juggling. And you have been juggling for long so that your arms are tired and you dream of an alternate world where you can drop all the balls without consequence and rest for a while, maybe forever.Maybe you juggle to seek approvals. Maybe you juggle to be seen by others. Maybe you juggle because you do not want to disappoint.Maybe you juggle because you have been juggling for so long that you just do it out of habit.Hard work is fine. What is not fine is when you work hard and don’t feel accomplished.Here’s the thing, we set out to accomplish something with our lives: become a parent, contribute to the world through our work, buy a first home, or find someone to love.We set a goal. One after the next. We meet the goal and, without awareness, move right onto the next goal. And without knowing, we missed the moment we have been waiting for. Not because it is wrong to want to accomplish more, but because moving from goal to goal is unfulfilling and without fulfillment you cannot feel complete.The idea that we reach a goal and then we will be happy is flawed.Shawn Achor, author of the Happiness Advantage, explains the result of 1000’s of scientific studies in the field of positive psychology on happiness. He explains that setting goals out in the future and working towards them doesn’t work.“If success causes happiness, then every employee who gets a promotion, every student who receives an acceptance letter, everyone who has ever accomplished a goal of any kind should be happy. But with each victory, our goalposts of success keep getting pushed further and further out, so that happiness gets pushed over the horizon.”In fact, the research shows that happiness is not achieved because you reached a goal, but that a grateful, resilient, positive outlook is what allows people to reach the goals.What starts to happen over time, despite best intentions, is you begin to resent your life. It is not the fault of the projects that you take on or the responsibility that comes with it. You see something you want to achieve. Yet, you begin to lose sight of each day.The end, the goal, the finish line, is all you see: the wedding, the promotion, the birth of your child.Life is not the goalposts; it is the space in between.Think of a football field. How much space does the goalpost take up relative to the field. Imagine a game where you run through the goal only to see another goal 100 yards down field.If it is an authentic goal, meaning it feels right when we say, “yes” to the goal, then the problem is about perspective.The “goal” is not the finish line. The goal is to enjoy the whole game. In this case, the game is life. We want to celebrate our lives as they occur, day by day.Imagine the life you want is the life you have now. No, you have not completed your goal, but as enjoyable as it is to complete a goal, it only means you have to start again… well, that is unless you are dead.Imagine a life in one year and how you want to feel and then focus on today. Today you have a lot of work to accomplish to take a step towards your goal. Take pride in the work you accomplished today. Take pride in the time you spent with someone you love today. Take pride in the exercise you completed today.The goalpost is lingering out there and victory can be so sweet. But celebrating every day is sweeter.
