“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. – Marianne WilliamsonFor me the itchy, handmade, wool sweater with a matching, equally itchy hat from Cape Cod led to my personal breaking point. Everything about the sweater from the texture, the look, to the matching hat, just felt wrong.Do you remember the outfit that your mother forced upon you that catapulted you so far out of your comfort zone that you may as well be standing naked on a stage in front of friends because the horror of the outfit led to the same emotional state? No? Then call your mother right now and thank her for being the kindest person on the planet.For me it was that sweater.My desire to be real, authentic to myself, was in total conflict with that sweater. From there a series of attempts to match my internal sense of self with the choices in the world continued. Throughout high school, in the 80’s, it was the choice between big hair and black and white clothing – I went with the black and white option, if you are curious. I never saw myself as the “big hair” kind of girl.In college the choices continued from which friends felt right to what classes interested me. For me, philosophy won over a more practical option, despite the social ridiculing I endured, “Hey Laura, so if a tree falls in forest, does it make a sound?” For the record, that is not an easy question.After college, I grappled with the harder choices: career, marriage, and how to set up a life. These choices created internal turmoil. Was I good enough to follow my passions? Was I good enough to find the love of my life?How many itchy sweaters do I accept as my fate and how many times do I push forward to find something that, “fits.”The quest for our truth, to build a life that we connect to and feels right to us is not simple because we have an internal conflict – the drive towards our truest deepest self conflicts with the fear of finding real power.Marrianne Williamson so beautifully states that we are not afraid of not being good enough, but we are afraid of how powerful we really are.Think about a world where you shed all the itchy sweaters from your life.“You wake up in the morning, you step outside, you take a deep breathe and you get really high. And say, “hey, what’s going on?” (Sorry, I am listening to 4 Non Blondes.)But seriously, you wake up and you just stop.You stop wearing everything that you feel doesn’t represent you; the you that you feel, but are afraid to fully express. You change your hair, your friends, your relationships, your job with one intention: I only do what moves me further into my light, my power.Can you see a world where you just stop trying? Trying to please, trying to be something or someone that diminishes that deep sense of self, your light?And, no, before the pragmatists start up with the realities of life, I am not suggesting that you set up a beach chair in favor of your job. Unless you really want to go off the grid and that is your deepest truth. Because there is no right way to manifest your truth, there is only one way and only you know what that is.So what is in your way? What is that one thing you tolerate, but fantasize about changing all the time? Are you ready to step into your light and find out just how powerful you are? Your perfect life is waiting for you.As always, love to hear from you. Thank you for the comments and questions. laurascoe@gmail.com
